Thursday, May 20, 2004

day sixty-four, week nine Apparently, as the course of Things As They Are would have it, I'm due a slight disappointment or two after last week's small successes. If I were to chart my success graphically, it's looked more or less like an inclined roller coaster, where I'd expected somewhat of a smoother ride. No worries, though... it's still better than when I started. current medications/supplements: accutane 80mg Erythromycin Yasmin vitamin e current products: Neosporin cream with pain relief Visine Original and Visine for contacts St. Ives 24-hour lotion cetaphil moisturizing lotion cetaphil face wash blistex lip balm lots of water current symptoms: fatigue, muscle aches irritation, anger bloody nose severly dry, chafed skin and rashes all over the place extremely dry, irritated eyes dry lips dehydration WEEK NINE REPORT: Like I said, I've seen some downhill progress this week, but it's not getting to me yet. I HAVE noticed that my lips aren't as chapped recently... I forgot my lip balm this morning and am surviving on a bottle of water and a note on my hand that says "DON'T LICK YOUR LIPS!" It's a nervous habit I've never been able to shake. So that's something. On the other hand, my skin has gotten extremely dry all over the place, to the point of making most of my clothes very uncomfortable. It probably doesn't help that I spend about 8 hours a week in chlorinated water. So now I have these nasty dry, bumpy rashes all over the place. Very gross. My solution: wear more lotion!! Also, no serious moodiness or depression but I have noticed increasing tendencies toward frustration and sudden angry reactions to the dumbest stuff and irresistable urges to punch people, walls, computers, etc. Not that I could actually hurt anyone if I tried, but that's getting rather bothersome. RECOMMENDATIONS: hmm... can't think of any this week, sorry. Follow all of my other advice, that's my recommendation. | || [11:33 AM]

Thursday, May 13, 2004

day fifty-seven, week eight I'm finally to the point where my face actually looks better than when I started this whole process. If perfect skin was a 10 and disgusting mutant skin was a 0, I started out at about a 5, dropped to a 3 after starting Yasmin birth control, then down to a 1 after starting the accutane. Now I'm about up to a 4. It's to the point where you actually can't tell I have acne when I'm wearing makeup. So here I am, proof that patience pays off. current medications/supplements: accutane 80mg Erythromycin Yasmin vitamin e current products: Neosporin cream with pain relief Visine Original and Visine for contacts St. Ives 24-hour lotion cetaphil moisturizing lotion cetaphil face wash blistex lip balm lots of water current symptoms: constantly peeling face moodiness/"Evander Holifield" syndrome (Friends fans, you know what I mean) bloody nose dry, chafed skin and rashes dry, irritated eyes dry lips dehydration diet changes: none, since my cholesterol is back to normal now! My triglycerides are a little bit higher though, so I did reduce my "meat" meals from 3 to 2 per week. No big. WEEK EIGHT REPORT: I can see the end from here! After two months, I'm finally seeing progress. My forehead is totally clear now, as is my chin and my nose (nose wasn't ever a problem before, but I can celebrate it anyway, ja?) My problem areas are still my cheeks and the sides of my face, but I only average one new zit every couple of days. VERY big for me. I had my 2-month appointment with the dermotologist and he increased my dosage to 80 mgs/day. I'm supposed to keep an eye on my symptoms though, they're pretty hairy as it is. He also injected a few of my bigger zits, and they're already gone. RECOMMENDATIONS: This is the point in the therapy where symptoms can become less physical and more emotional/psychological. Accutane, in conjunction with whatever crappy birth control you end up on (*cough*YASMIN*cough*), makes you really prone to all kinds of mood swings. Here are my recommendations for battling all the different flavors of moodiness: The "I-Need-To-Hit-Something-Right-Now" mood swing - for this, I recommend kickboxing or some other high-impact physical activity. My favorite is sprinting on the treadmill for a few minutes. Feelings of intense anger and frustration happen because you have too much energy and nothing useful to do with it. Wearing yourself out through exercize protects the people that have to live with you from undue abuse and gets you in shape all at once. The "I-Need-A-Boyfriend-Right-NOW" mood swing - Also known as the "Evander Holifield" syndrome because it's a lot like the Friends episode where Rachel is pregnant and SUPER horny, so she's attracted to a cutout of Evander Holifield. Anyway. Best cure? Go out there and flirt! Go clubbing, get someone to fix you up on a blind date, get a little peskier with that one person you've been flirting with for months... before long you'll remember what a waste of time the opposite sex is. The best cure for horniness really is bitterness, trust me. The "Life-Sucks-And-I-Hate-Everyone" mood swing - These seriously come out of the blue and sometimes you really can't do much about them. The hardest thing to hear when you're depressed is to "snap out of it" or "cheer up." The most important thing to remember is that it will pass, everything will be ok. Be sure not to get caught in negative thought patterns that will only make it worse. Try to keep yourself busy and distracted until it passes. The "I-Don't-Want-To-Live-Anymore" mood swing - for that one, decrease your dosage and see the nearest shrink IMMEDIATELY. This is not something to take lightly and, even though it doesn't happen very often, should be treated like a serious threat to your life. | || [8:30 AM]

Monday, May 03, 2004

day forty-seven, week seven I've updated my lists over there, in case you're interested... namely the "Products I Swear By" and "Products I Swear *At*" lists. I've got a bunch of em. current medications/supplements: accutane 40mg (80mg every other day) Erythromycin Yasmin vitamin e current products: Neosporin cream with pain relief Visine Original and Visine for contacts St. Ives 24-hour lotion cetaphil moisturizing lotion cetaphil face wash blistex lip balm lots of water current symptoms: bloody nose dry, chafed skin and rashes sunburn red, blotchy skin all over dry, irritated eyes dry lips dehydration diet changes: switched to 1/2 gallon jugs of milk instead of full gallons. That way I don't drink as much. That stuff is cholesterol LOADED, dude! WEEK SEVEN REPORT: I was getting all set to complain about how awful my skin looks and how miserable I've been for the past week, but this morning I woke up and my skin looked pretty decent. A total miracle, considering the blotchy, cystic mess I was when I went to bed last night. I was a little more than overjoyed to look in the mirror today. I *am* peeling like a herniated rattlesnake though, kinda gross. I really recommend a mild toner to help clear up some of that peely skin. The bad news, however, is that you keep peeling all day long and it never ever ever stops! Something else I've started doing is re-applying makeup during the day. Not my favorite way to spend an extra half an hour during the day, but it does wonders for my self esteem. RECOMMENDATIONS: If the way you look is getting you down, there *are* a few things you can do about it. Don't just assume that you're ugly and there's nothing you can do about it! Here's some of my advice: Don't forget lip balm! Sometimes just feeling kissable can perk you up a bit. It's girly, I know, but try it. You'll like it. Re-apply your makeup in the middle of the day. Guys, splash some cold water on your face and put some moisturizer on after lunch. Helps you feel a little fresher and ready to face the rest of an otherwise acne-plagued day. If you're feeling really red and blotchy, try wearing more greens and blues instead of oranges, pinks, or reds. Cooler colors help to neutralize the appearance of redness, while warm colors highlight them and draw attention to the fact that you're redder than a drunk Swede. Trust me, it works. Exercize. It makes your blotches look more like a healthy workout glow, and the endorphins help to combat the depression and frustration we know all too well. When all else fails, avoid mirrors. They really are the enemy, and will be until your 5 month sentence is up. Take them off the wall, cover them up, turn them away. I've started brushing my teeth in the dark, it really helps. Try to look at yourself as little as possible, and think about other things. | || [8:55 AM]

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About Accutane

In Laman's terms... Accutane limits the body's production a natural oil called Sebum that builds up in your pores and causes acne. Generally you spend 5 months on it, and most people see results within 2 months. It has a 75% success rate after the first round, 85% after 2 rounds - that means that the acne never, ever comes back for most people. During the course of the therapy, the most common side effects are dry flaky skin, chapped lips, dehydration, irritation while wearing contacts, and backaches. Basically it makes your body tissue really sensitive to EVERYTHING. Some people also experience moodiness and, in rare cases, severe depression. It also causes some nasty birth defects, so they make absolutely sure you can't get pregnant while you're on it.

Products I Swear By

Mary Kay medium coverage foundation blistex original lip balm neosporin cream (not ointment) St. Ives 24-Hour body lotion Cetaphil moisturizer & face wash Generic vitamin e supplements Visine original eye drops

Products I Swear *At*

Blistex Complete Moisture lip balm - Jackie recommends it, but I disagree! It's really thin (heavy petroleum-based ointments are the best) and makes your breath smell funky. Victoria's Secret lotion - Love the smell, but it stings like a mofo. Same goes for Bath&Body or any other heavily scented lotion, accutane makes your skin VERY sensitive to that kind of stuff. Proactiv products - great for semi-problematic skin, but totally useless for severe acne. They *do* give your money back, so it *is* worth a try. But if you're serious about dealing with your acne, try something else. erythromycin - if you get this, make sure they prescribe the capsules, not the tablets. This stuff is powerful, it can really upset your stomach. Yasmin birth control - makes acne *worse*, turns you into a hormonal one-woman soap opera. Chapstick brand lip balm - nothin but glorified ear wax. Buy the medicated stuff, folks.

More Accutane Stuff

Fun With Accutane - Jackie's journal Accutane Information Page - the real deal, run by the FDA. The Skin Site - very comprehensive and easy to understand. Accutane Action Group - anti-accutane awareness group.