Friday, July 16, 2004

day 121, week seventeen Things are actually looking a bit more optimistic now.  I haven't had any new acne in over a week, so I'm more or less clear!  There are a few red spots from old breakouts and scars, all of which will fade in their own time.  The depression has lifted now that my dosage has been cut to 40mg too, so I'm feeling a lot happier lately. current medications/supplements: accutane 40mg vitamin e current products: generic SPF 30 waterproof sunscreen Neosporin cream with pain relief Visine Original and Visine for contacts St. Ives 24-hour lotion cetaphil moisturizing lotion cetaphil face wash blistex lip balm lots of water current symptoms: moderate depression irritation, anger bloody nose extreme sensitivity to sunlight and heat severly dry, chafed skin and rashes all over the place dry, irritated eyes dry lips dehydration WEEK SEVENTEEN REPORT:Despite what the derm said last week, my face IS improving.  Plus my attitude is a lot better now that I'm not so depressed.  I'm going camping this weekend and I'm gonna go it without any makeup on!  That's a huge step for me, I'm SO jazzed about it. RECOMMENDATIONS: stick with it!  If MY skin can pull through, anyone's can. | || [2:00 PM]

Thursday, July 08, 2004

day 113, weeks fifteen and sixteen I had my second-to-last derm appointment yesterday, and it was a different guy filling in for my regular doctor. I actually liked him a lot, he was honest and straightforward with me. He was surprised that my skin wasn't clear yet, after 4 months of therapy. He says my skin probably won't get any better than it is right now, until grow out of it naturally. So this is as good as it's gonna get... which isn't all that impressive. current medications/supplements: accutane 40mg vitamin e current products: generic SPF 30 waterproof sunscreen Neosporin cream with pain relief Visine Original and Visine for contacts St. Ives 24-hour lotion cetaphil moisturizing lotion cetaphil face wash blistex lip balm lots of water current symptoms: moderate depression irritation, anger bloody nose extreme sensitivity to sunlight and heat severly dry, chafed skin and rashes all over the place dry, irritated eyes dry lips dehydration WEEK FIFTEEN/SIXTEEN REPORT:Like I said, my face still isn't getting any better. But then again, it isn't getting any worse either. It's just frustrating to think of all the money I've spent on the medication, only to end up right where I started out. It's hard not to lose hope at this point. Accutane is such a powerful drug, and every OTHER part of my body reacted really dramatically to it. Just not my face. Between the bloody noses, the mood swings, nasty flare-ups of the worst acne I've ever had, depression and anger, not to mention dry lips and rough skin... I honestly can't say it's been worth it. I'll give it one more month, and after that I'm going back to not caring about my stupid face. RECOMMENDATIONS: | || [12:57 PM]

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

day ninety-seven, week fourteen And I'm back to the point of no hope again, where I feel like my face will never clear up, and I'll always be zitty and blotchy and gross, and I'll have to go back to "just dealing" again. I'll get back to the point where I forget I ever got my hopes up, and get used to feeling ugly again, and then KAZAAM, I'll wake up one morning with clear skin (without a doubt, it'll be the day of my dermotologist appointment) and start the whole stupid process over again. current medications/supplements: accutane 80mg Yasmin vitamin e current products: generic SPF 30 waterproof sunscreen Neosporin cream with pain relief Visine Original and Visine for contacts St. Ives 24-hour lotion cetaphil moisturizing lotion cetaphil face wash blistex lip balm lots of water current symptoms: irritation, anger bloody nose extreme sensitivity to sunlight and heat severly dry, chafed skin and rashes all over the place dry, irritated eyes dry lips dehydration WEEK FOURTEEN REPORT: I feel like I'm on a massive physiological roller coaster that costs twice as much as my rent does. Seriously. For $500 a month, I get to experience flattering symptoms and attractive mood swings... and meanwhile my face isn't getting any better. Most people have had GREAT results by now, I don't understand why I still look like the swamp creature. RECOMMENDATIONS: Next week I'll have something here to say about keeping your hopes alive and not losing faith... but you'll have to wait till then because we're fresh out of optimism today. | || [12:35 PM]

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

day ninety, weeks twelve and thirteen Ok, I've been slacking off in a very major way, but really there's not much to report at ALL. My skin got LOTS better, but right now it's starting to go downhill again. Nothing a little makeup (ok, a LOT of makeup) can't handle. current medications/supplements: accutane 80mg Yasmin vitamin e current products: generic SPF 30 waterproof sunscreen Neosporin cream with pain relief Visine Original and Visine for contacts St. Ives 24-hour lotion cetaphil moisturizing lotion cetaphil face wash blistex lip balm lots of water current symptoms: irritation, anger bloody nose extreme sensitivity to sunlight and heat severly dry, chafed skin and rashes all over the place dry, irritated eyes dry lips dehydration WEEK TWELVE AND THIRTEEN REPORT: Lately I'm noticing a lot of fatigue... headaches, irritability, and sleeplessness, mostly psychological symptoms lately. In addition, I've completely lost my ability to tolerate frustration, which leads to massive temper tantrums about twice a week. That's pretty embarassing. RECOMMENDATIONS: I know I've talked about anger and frustration already, so let me reiterate... exercize really is the best outlet for all of that angsty energy. Work yourself until you're too tired to be angry. If you're not big on working out, do SOMEthing active... clean your room, walk around the block... otherwise you're likely to blow up and make an idiot of yourself. | || [9:04 AM]

Friday, June 04, 2004

day seventy-nine, week eleven Happy birthday to me!! I'm 21 now, and the best present I could hope for? No zits!! My skin is really really clear, and it looks like my little layer of purple scars is also beginning to fade noticeably. I'm faced with an interesting new reality though: my skin is really WHITE! Not pale or pasty, but a curiously luminous shade of white. Of course, the rest of my body is the same color (I'm Swedish), but it's wierd seeing my face that way. For the last 5 years, it's either been red and blotchy or caky with Ivory 101 Maximum Coverage Foundation. current medications/supplements: accutane 80mg Yasmin vitamin e current products: Neosporin cream with pain relief Visine Original and Visine for contacts St. Ives 24-hour lotion cetaphil moisturizing lotion cetaphil face wash blistex lip balm lots of water current symptoms: irritation, anger bloody nose extreme sensitivity to sunlight and heat severly dry, chafed skin and rashes all over the place dry, irritated eyes dry lips dehydration WEEK ELEVEN REPORT: Like I said, major progress. I'm off the Erythromycin, and I was going to watch and see if I was still nauseated in the mornings, but then for the past 3 days I've been eating pizza and birthday cake and restaurant food, so my stomach is upset ANYway. But for a better reason :) Something I've noticed, PMS is MUCH much worse lately, as well as the whole first-day-of-my-period mess. I was having some serious anger issues last week, and then as soon as that subsided, I got really sick and headachy for a couple of days. But now it's all better, just in time for the BIG party. RECOMMENDATIONS: I've finally found a foundation worth its weight in gold. Somehow the Mary Kay girls found me, and I'm telling you, their foundation is the best thing that ever happened to my face (next to accutane). It's very lightweight but has super-opaque coverage (and I only bought the medium coverage) without the caky look. It doesn't dry your skin out and lasts ALL DAY. You pay about $15 for a 1-oz tube (unlike $30 for Clinique or $40 for Clarins) and you only need half of what you'd use of the grocery store brands. Seriously. I love the stuff. Their Satin Lip therapy kit, on the other hand, is NOT worth the money. Blistex original is what I've narrowed it down to, it's the only thing I've used AND liked. Now I go into conniptions of panic if I ever leave the house without it. | || [8:50 AM]

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

day seventy, week ten HALF-WAY MARK, and hopefully it's downhill from here. As the official halfway post, I'd like to note that my skin isn't really any better than it was when I started the accutane therapy. Over the last 2 and a half months, I've seen my skin get dramatically worse, then dramatically better, and now I'm right about where I was at the beginning of all of this. Frankly I'm getting a little frustrated, but I'm sure it's just a reaction to the dosage increase and I'll be seeing improvements soon. I hope. current medications/supplements: accutane 80mg Erythromycin Yasmin vitamin e current products: Neosporin cream with pain relief Visine Original and Visine for contacts St. Ives 24-hour lotion cetaphil moisturizing lotion cetaphil face wash blistex lip balm lots of water current symptoms: moodiness, depression fatigue, muscle aches irritation, anger bloody nose severly dry, chafed skin and rashes all over the place extremely dry, irritated eyes dry lips dehydration WEEK TEN REPORT: No changes from last week, I still look and feel like a lumpy troll. I'm generally plain old grouchy most of the time, constant mood swings. No desire to kill myself yet, so that's a plus. I'd probably feel a lot better if I got more sleep, but that's my own fault. RECOMMENDATIONS: Still nothing. Too cranky. | || [9:34 AM]

Archives

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About Accutane

In Laman's terms... Accutane limits the body's production a natural oil called Sebum that builds up in your pores and causes acne. Generally you spend 5 months on it, and most people see results within 2 months. It has a 75% success rate after the first round, 85% after 2 rounds - that means that the acne never, ever comes back for most people. During the course of the therapy, the most common side effects are dry flaky skin, chapped lips, dehydration, irritation while wearing contacts, and backaches. Basically it makes your body tissue really sensitive to EVERYTHING. Some people also experience moodiness and, in rare cases, severe depression. It also causes some nasty birth defects, so they make absolutely sure you can't get pregnant while you're on it.

Products I Swear By

Mary Kay medium coverage foundation blistex original lip balm neosporin cream (not ointment) St. Ives 24-Hour body lotion Cetaphil moisturizer & face wash Generic vitamin e supplements Visine original eye drops

Products I Swear *At*

Blistex Complete Moisture lip balm - Jackie recommends it, but I disagree! It's really thin (heavy petroleum-based ointments are the best) and makes your breath smell funky. Victoria's Secret lotion - Love the smell, but it stings like a mofo. Same goes for Bath&Body or any other heavily scented lotion, accutane makes your skin VERY sensitive to that kind of stuff. Proactiv products - great for semi-problematic skin, but totally useless for severe acne. They *do* give your money back, so it *is* worth a try. But if you're serious about dealing with your acne, try something else. erythromycin - if you get this, make sure they prescribe the capsules, not the tablets. This stuff is powerful, it can really upset your stomach. Yasmin birth control - makes acne *worse*, turns you into a hormonal one-woman soap opera. Chapstick brand lip balm - nothin but glorified ear wax. Buy the medicated stuff, folks.

More Accutane Stuff

Fun With Accutane - Jackie's journal Accutane Information Page - the real deal, run by the FDA. The Skin Site - very comprehensive and easy to understand. Accutane Action Group - anti-accutane awareness group.